It can be difficult being single sometimes, especially around the holidays. Being single has a habit of pressing on any self-esteem issues and aggravating them as self-doubt makes the person wonder if the main reason they are single is because something is wrong with them. Some believing there is not one good thing about their own personality. But sometimes it’s not what is wrong with them, but their approach to finding a love life.
Self-doubt may make you begin to throw away everything that makes you unique. It can be scary to be you, and it is much easier to try mold yourself to other people. You may be begin to hide away waiting for someone else to save them from their isolation. The problem is that your uniqueness is your inner light that attracts others to you. To find someone you need to open up your light to the world so people can find you and like you for you.
When you shine your light and be who you are, you are loving and honoring who you are. You can interact with other people from a heart level, so that when you are liked, you honestly feel liked. Acting from a persona often leaves a person feeling lonely even with people around. While it is nice to find someone who has the same interests and will want to do what you want to do, when the other person is faking it’s usually pretty obvious. Not to say that when your in a relationship you won’t need to share some hobbies that don’t interest you with your partner. The core, however, should be similar. If you have a passion for cribbage, and so do they, your passions exist in the same place and the cards will be stacked in your favor for a good marriage (yes, pun intended). Passion is in your heart, so if you share your passion you share a piece of your heart and core being.
So what this translates to is while your single you need to seek yourself. Do things that you enjoy. Find clubs, meet ups, or religious groups that already do what you love. If you can’t find any consider starting a group yourself. Don’t feel discouraged if you don’t get tons of people right away, it can take time and lots of word of mouth. By going out you get yourself noticed by others. Key to finding someone else is them knowing about you. Then if you have fun at the group even if you don’t find the love of your life you win because you had a great time.
Being single gives you time to explore yourself more deeply without the influence of another person. While it can be helpful to have someone that may have different interests to draw you out of yourself, when you are by yourself you get to pilot your own life ship. There is no one there to say that extreme ironing is stupid and they refuse to try it.
Think of a blank paper. When you go around not being you, sure there is potential, but its potential for someone else to fill up with whatever they want. Not only that, but it’s boring. To be a blank paper you need to throw away who you are, your opinions, interests and hobbies.
When you design your own life, you can be one snappy piece of art. Art is way more noteworthy then a blank piece of paper. It is harder to pass by. Some people are going to hate it, but that one special person will love it, you, for all you are worth. It is absolutely critical that you get out and go to the movies or wherever by yourself. At the time I’m writing this, I’m single, so I know what I’m talking about here. Sometimes you may find yourself being lonely anyway, but other times you may have a blast at your own pace. Maybe you will even meet the person of your dreams in the most unexpected place.
Being single does not mean you can’t do things. It doesn’t mean you should be your own jail keeper, and it certainly does not mean you should have no interests because you are so ‘weird’ no one will love you. Go out and be you! You won’t find someone sitting watching TV, petting your cat. You may however meet someone entering your cat in the local cat pet show.
You can’t meet anyone if you don’t put yourself out there somehow.
It’s more fun then being what someone wants you to be while your secretly miserable inside.
Because if you have fun being you, it doesn’t matter if your single or not.